Me time

One thing I keep forgetting is that the real recipe for failure is to obsess over things I cannot control. No, I cannot control or influence what other people do or say or think, I cannot control how they perceive me or what I say or how I think, I cannot change any of that. Nor their actions.

For the past year, I’ve been continuously trying to do the opposite - constantly engaging and pushing for things to happen the way I wanted things to happen, for people to do what I wanted them to do, to react the way I wanted them to react, to feel what I wanted them to feel, to see what I wanted them to see. And no wonder I failed and hurt myself in the process. Because guess what? People are their own people, with their own thoughts and limitations, and experiences and feelings, and there is nothing that I can do to change that. But I can change my perception and reaction to that!

Truth is I am who I am, I live to the best of my capacities and I don't need to justify myself to anyone. The time for compromise is long gone. Now I am walking on my own path. Alone. And if someone wants to walk right next to me and accept me for who I am and enjoy what I have to offer when I can offer it, it’s fine. If they don’t, they don’t. There is nothing that I can do about it and honestly I don’t even want to. I am not responsible for what they are able to see or not see in me. And if they are blind, let them be blind - it is not my sacred duty to awaken anyone, to better anyone, to help anyone. 

So let this be the stone on which I build the new me - alone and free, living the only life that I’ve got for whatever time that I still have it with no regrets, no whatifs, no looking back, no hopes and especially no compromises. Starting now it's me time!